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User talk:Happy Attack Dog
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Half Hate 2 page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:16, October 5, 2014 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's minimum quality standards. Please revise your story accordingly before trying to reupload it again, through Deletion Appeal. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again without any major changes, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read this blog post for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I'd rather write a thousand-word story. (talk) 21:17, October 5, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:22, October 5, 2014 (UTC) Story. After reading your story, I noticed a number of capitalization errors ("half life" should be capitalized as it is the title of a video game/book/movie. You forgot to capitalize the first letter of a few sentences: "(E)except that after loading screen finished, instead of stepping into the normal jail instead I stepped into a room that was littered with dead overwatch soldiers and lit by flares", "(T)then Freeman walked into the room filled with monitors, one of the showed a soldier succumbing to headcrabs, another one showed Overwatch soldiers executing citizens . ), wording errors (Using conjunctions like "but", "and", etc. to open sentences. "...one of the (sic) showed a soldier succumbing to headcrabs, another one showed Overwatch (Capitalized here, but not in other places in the story.) soldiers executing citizens ." (Sic)) Additionally the plot needs a lot of revision. You give little to no explanation as to why any of these occurrences may be happening. (You mention your computer was taken away fro a couple of months and then returned. Once returned, the game has changed with little to no hints/explanation.) Additionally the plot needs more of the protagonist's reaction. As it stands, it is just a re-telling of scenes without any real driven plot other than "Weird things happened in a game I was playing.) To sum it up, the story needs a lot of revision and feedback that I can't really help you with. Even then it will still face a number of difficulties as video game pastas are judged fairly harshly here due to an over-abundance of Cliches in the genre. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:40, October 6, 2014 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:47, May 8, 2015 (UTC) Answers to your talk page question to Jeff Cyber He's using a template that changes the last listed username to the name of the person viewing the page. No actual that is being made, they're just trying to creep you out/be edgy. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:22, July 28, 2015 (UTC) Message on Jett Cyber's talk page The user you messaged is most likely not online right now. That is a template, which displays the username of whoever is reading. No need to stir up drama. Inside there is thunder in your heart 04:37, July 28, 2015 (UTC)